In English a white lie means a lie of good intention. But whether people should tell a white lie remains controversial. A case in point is that whether the doctor should inform the patient about the true condition of his illness when he is suffering an incurable disease. Just as shown in the picture, the doctor is now caught in a dilemma. He can’t decide whether he should tell or conceal the patient’s serious condition.
Some people hold that telling patients about their true conditions mayrisk destroying their hope, which may make the illness even worse. So it’sbetter to tell the patient a white lie. People against this view argue thata while lie is after all a lie. The patients should be informed of theircondition since it is their legal right to know the truth of the fact.
Lies have been recognized as a synonym for cheating and hypocrisy and liars are often held in contempt. However, sometimes we need lies in real life, because a white lie can give one comfort and encouragement. If a
seriously ill patient, on hearing your while lie, can refresh himself to fight against the illness, don’t you think your lie is meaningful?
Recently, I find it’s more and more useful to tell white lies, especially to our family or friends. Because white lies more or less can make them comfortable.
Take my parents for example. They always worry about me. Now I’m far away from home. As long as I have something wrong, they’ll become very anxious. For sure, I do have some trouble sometimes, but what I usually tell them is I’m just ok, please don’t worry.
Similarly, if one of my friends show me her new dress, I’ll say “ah, it’s pretty well!”, or, “hmm. I think it’s quite fit you.” My praise makes both of us happy.
So why not tell some white lies to the persons who you love and make your relationship closer? I think it a good idea.
In our daily lives, we all hate people who lie to you. We often regard those who tell lies out of some ulterior motive associated with something bad and consider those people as being dishonest and persons who cannot be trusted. But not all lies are out of indecent motive and all "liers" are bad persons. On certain occasions, out of necessity, we simply cannot tell the truth but have to lie with good rather than bad intentions. To "lie with good intentions" is very common and almost all of us have done it. In evaluating another person, we more than often do not tell the truth or speak out what we truly think about the other person for purposes of trying not to hurt the feelings of the person being evaluated. Even though s/he looks ugly, we often tend to lie to her or him. "You look great!" "You are so pretty/handsome." In essence, in judging the nature of lies, we need to determine the intentions behind the lies, some with bad intentions and some with good intentions, and we should judge people who tell lies accordingly.
大家好!我非常遗憾地告诉对方辩友,你们并没有对善意谎言作出一个本质的解释.你们所说得都只是浅层理解!
我们知道,人们身处在这个社会,背负着许许多多的义务,而义务与义务之间有时候是会存在矛盾的,当一个义务凌驾于另一个义务之上时,就要缓解另一个义务.因此,善意的谎言的本质是一种更紧迫更重要的义务要实施,而以缓解诚信义务为代价.
对方辩友刚才立论的时候也举了一些例子,说明了善意谎言的一些效用和好处,我们也肯定这些效用和好处,我们也肯定你们刚才所举的善意谎言的例子本身.但是,你们千万不要忽视,通过善意谎言获得的效用和好处,终究还是要以牺牲诚信为代价的.
相信大家也听说过机会成本吧!就是说,你做了某件事情,就失去了同时做其他事情的机会了.你要达到善意谎言的效果,就必须牺牲诚信,这就是善意谎言的机会成本!
此外,现代心理学研究指出,善意谎言分为两个种类：一是客体善意谎言,一是主体善意谎言.
所谓客体善意谎言,是出发点完全为了对方利益的善意谎言,它较多地陈述善意撒谎的客体的情况,例如称赞一个智力低下的小孩说他很聪明,让他得到自信心.这客体善意谎言破坏诚信比较隐蔽,是一种慢性中毒.
所谓主体善意谎言,是出发点包含维护或牟取自己利益的成分的善意谎言,它较多地陈述善意撒谎的主体的情况.例如一个小孩子上课没认真听讲,回家后他妈妈问他有没有认真听讲,但他不希望妈妈责备他,也不希望妈妈伤心,因此撒谎说认真听讲了.这主体善意谎言破坏诚信比较明显,是一种急性中毒了!
对方辩友得出善意谎言无碍诚信这个错误认识,无非就是受到客体善意谎言的诚信破坏隐蔽性所影响,你们没有透过现象看本质,没有意识到那是一种慢性中毒.
为什么客体善意谎言是一种慢性中毒呢?该项心理学研究解释说,因为客体善意谎言破坏诚信是不会直接被人们所感知的,而随着时间的推移,它会慢慢地腐蚀人们的诚信系统.不诚信的理念藏于他们的潜意识,而“为人家好!”这句话就会成为他日后破坏诚信的内心借口.
基于上述理由,我们认为,善意的谎言有碍诚信!
Last week I lost my lunch money my mother gave me. I was worried and sad. My best friend Xiaomei gave me her only 10 yuan and told me that was her pocket money. I believed that. Then I knew the money was saved by her from breakfast and she wanted to buy a new bag. It moved me.