看了这些笑话，除了使你开怀大笑、忘却烦忧之外，还能让你在各个场合得心应手，轻易营造欢乐气氛，成为众人目光焦点。从笑话中学习英语，轻松自在，让你充满自信、左右逢源。下面是整理的英语简单小笑话带翻译（通用8篇），如果对您有一些参考与帮助，请分享给最好的朋友。
saying a prayer for his christmas meal圣诞节晚宴上的餐前祷告
lee, a seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the christmas dinner. the family members bowed their heads in expectation. lee began his prayer, thanking god for his mommy, daddy, brothers, sister, grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. then he began to thank god for the food.
有个小男孩叫lee, 今年七岁，圣诞节晚餐开桌前，家人让他做餐前祷告。家人都带着期待的申请低头看着他，lee开始做他得祷告，首先，他谢谢上帝赐予他爸爸妈妈，哥哥姐姐诶，奶奶还有他们家的所有叔叔婶婶。然后，他开始感谢上帝赐予他得圣诞节晚餐了。
he gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. then lee paused, and everyone waited 。.。 and waited. after a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "if i thank god for the brussels sprouts, won't he know that i'm lying?"
他感谢上帝赐予他火鸡，馅儿饼，圣诞布丁和红莓酱。然后lee停下来了 ，大家等啊等啊……lee沉默了很长时间，然后抬起头看着他妈妈说：“妈妈，如果我感谢上帝赐予我甘蓝菜，他会知道我在撒谎吗？”
p.s:
国外很多小孩子都不喜欢吃甘蓝菜，不知道为什么，看《绝望主妇》里面lynette家的双胞胎就非常讨厌吃甘蓝菜，请了保姆后还拿这个来做实验，看看她们家保姆有没有魅力让两个小鬼头把甘蓝菜吃下去。
One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 45 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspiciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
你是怎样来的？
一个冬天的早晨，一名雇员解释他为什么迟到了四十五分钟才起来上班。“外面太滑了，我每向前迈一步，就要向后退两步。”
老板狐疑地看着他。“噢，是吗？那你是怎样到这里来的？”
“后来我决定放弃，”他说，“然后我就往家里走。”
it's not my fault
不是我的错
mother (reprimanding训斥，谴责 her small daughter): you mustn't pull the cat's tail.
妈妈（正教训她的女儿）：你不该拽猫的尾巴。
daughter: i'm only holding it, mom. the cat's doing the pulling.
女儿：妈，我只是握着猫尾巴，它自己在拽。
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the threewe have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We justlost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive inLondon three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose anotherengine, we'll be up here all night!"
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。”
过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。”
正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的。份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
Father and son
Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a
man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
父与子
儿子：爸爸，听说在非洲的一些地方男人在结婚前根本不认识他的妻子。
父亲：孩子，实际上所有的国家都是这样的。
Father: Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie: That is okay ，dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
when a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. the conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged（用肘轻推） him and said: "wake up, sir!"
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”
"i wasn't asleep," the man answered.
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
"not asleep? but you had your eyes closed."
“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”
"i know. i just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
Teacher: Tom, why are you late f-§ or school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go Slow" 。
老师：汤姆，你为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：“学校——慢行”。