冷笑话是近几年才出现的新兴语言现象，它以网络为主要的传播方式。它是幽默的一种特殊的表现形式，主要流传于网页，微博，贴吧等。下面是勤劳的小编为大伙儿找到的幽默爆笑的英语的小笑话【3篇】，仅供借鉴，希望能够帮助到大家。
A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."
Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"
The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus（无知的人） failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”
"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."
有个士兵没有注意到一个年轻的陆军中尉，没有向他敬礼。中尉很严厉地对那个士兵说：“你没有向我敬礼，因此你要马上敬100个礼。”
这时候将军过来了。他看到那个可怜的士兵就要开始敬礼时，就大声问道：“这是怎么啦？”
中尉解释说：“这个蠢货没有向我敬礼，我就罚他马上向我敬一百个礼。”
将军笑着说：“完全正确。不过，老弟，别忘了他向你每敬一个礼，你都要回礼的啊！”
Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream parlor.where I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.
我和一位朋友来到一家冰淇琳店。我要了一个我最喜欢吃的巧克力奶油圣代。当女招待送来我的冰淇淋时，我发现我的冰淇沐是香草的。我说：“我要的是巧克力的。”
The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate."
那位年轻的女士查了一下订单回答说：“你确实要的是巧克力的。我把它拿回去，再给你拿一个巧克力的。”
“Never mind，”I said.”I don't like to see anything wasted."
“没关系，”我说：“我不想浪费东西。”
"Nothing is wasted around here!"she insisted.“We eat our mistakes. "
“这儿什么也浪费不了，”女招待坚持说：“我们吃掉自己的错误。”
When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up ☆☆to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的办公室，大家常常订些外卖食品来吃。一天夜里，我们都找沙伦订了食品。她把订单列在一张不干胶的纸条上。等她到了饭店时，怎么也找不到那张订单了。沙伦走到柜台前，还没等她说话，收银员就背出了所有大家订的东西。沙伦问：“你怎么会知道这些的呢？”
"Tt's right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在这儿，”收银页说：“贴在了你的胸前。”